“I Never Had Any” – March 18, Fifth Thursday in Lent

Matthew 5:43-48 NRSV

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.  For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?  Do not even the Gentiles do the same?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 6:14-15 NRSV

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

I was speaking with an old monk in Ohio about a year and a half ago and I asked him why he decided to enter the monastery he started to tell me about a woman who was like a mother to him.  He said that on her death-bed a priest came to hear her final confession.  He went through everything as normal and then asked her “Do you forgive all of your enemies and those who have sinned against you.”  She replied “no.”  The priest was taken aback by this answer because this lady was not only very holy, but she was also on her death-bed.  He asked her again “Do you forgive your enemies?” to which she again replied “No.”

After a few moments the priest began to ask her how she expected to enter into heaven if she was so unwilling to forgive her enemies since Jesus clearly calls us to forgives us our enemies.  She looked at the priest and simply said “I never had any.”

The monk looked at me and smiled.  He said “that’s why I decided to become a monk, I wanted to learn how not to have any enemies.”

Forgiving enemies is really hard.  If people wrong me I have a hard time letting go, forgiving them, and moving on.  This gets even more complicated when we put faces to the term “enemies.”  When I think of person X or Y and think of their actions forgiveness becomes even harder.  Who are your enemies?  Who are those individuals that society tells you it’s alright to hate.  Who is the person who mistreated you, embarrassed you, physically harmed you.  We could continue to life up situation after situation where society tells you that it’s completely justifiable to hate that person or group of people.  But this is not the way of Jesus.

Jesus was wronged, and yet he loved.  Jesus was harmed, and yet he forgave.  Jesus was the subject of abuse and scorn, and yet he prayed for them.  This is the way of Christians and the call of the Gospel.

The story the monk told me is a hard one to hear, but I think this what Jesus is intending.  She said she had no enemies but I can almost guarantee that she had been wronged in her life.  She had no enemies but I’m sure that she was mocked and mistreated.  The difference is that she allowed the love of Christ to transform her so much that she thought of these people in love and not hate.

Our calling as followers of Jesus is to love so much that forgiveness becomes second nature.  For when forgiveness becomes so deeply rooted as part of our being we can begin to truly say that we don’t have any.  We won’t have any enemies not because we won’t be mistreated and wronged, but because the love of Christ will lead us to forgiveness even while we are being wronged.

During this Lenten season let us focus on forgiveness.  Let us allow the love of Christ to pierce every part of our soul so that forgiveness becomes part of our being.

Closing Prayer:

O Lord and master of my life, take from me the spirit of sloth, despair, lust of power, and idle talk.  But give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience, and love to Thy servant.  O Lord and King, grant me to see my own transgressions, and not to judge my brother or sister for blessed are you always.  Amen

– The Lenten Prayer of St. Ephrem